A rally against diversity planned by National Front members to counter the pro-tolerance rally organised by the Council of Christians & Muslims, in the aftermath of the Auckland mosque attacks, has been cancelled.

An anonymous source within the NF, who asked not to be named, said that the NF were calling off their rally after learning of the wide variety of hot beverages they would be up against.

“We’d got around 6 people together, and we had three thermoses of delicious patriotic instant coffee planned… But the 600 or so commie scum were going to have all sorts of exotic herbal teas! Some of them were infused with chai, and other asian things. Our instant coffee would have been overwhelmed by the sweet smell of Lemon/Honey tea, Raspberry/Tangerine tea, and the all new Ginger Peach flavour - make sure you slip that one slowly so as to fully enjoy the unique taste of licorice, ginger and cinnamon,” said Lucas J. Vermon, our anonymous source who did not wish to be named.

So, to conclude, your day planners should read as follows:

The Rally FOR tolerance is still on.

*2.30pm on Sunday 24th July
* Aotea Square, Auckland City

But the rally AGAINST tolerance is off. This also means that the rally against the rally against tolerance is off, as is the rally against the rally against the rally against tolerance.